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Jury duty is a legal obligation. I was required to perform this
duty on Monday. I relaxed all weekend and saved my report to do
on Monday. I knew that it was going to be a long and boring day.
I sat down and started asking people around me if they had
experienced a life-threatening illness or was dealing with a
chronic illness. I desperately needed an interview.
Two hours later a new group of people came into the room. I
started asking more people around me. I asked the gentlemen in
front of me and he said he was diagnosed with colon cancer seven
years ago. I then asked him if he would do an interview with me.
Mario said that he would but it would cost me eighty-five
dollars. He assured me he made that much money an hour. I
laughed; I told him I had twenty dollars. Then he decided to
help with the interview. He did not require my money.
He enjoyed joking around and found the questions entertaining in
the beginning. Everyone around us was listening and they were
joining in on the conversation.
His religious affiliation was catholic. He lived alone. He came
to America when he was seventeen years old. He was now
sixty-seven years old. At first he said his goal in life was to
make a million dollars and now he was working on his second
million dollars since he had not got the first million.
I first asked about his meaning and purpose in life. He wanted
to live life and enjoy those around him. He said his purpose was
to multiply and to slack as much as possible. By the time I got
to the last question his tone had changed and he was serious.
I asked, “What is the most important or powerful thing in your
life?”
He answered, “The fear of God.”
That is when the whole conversation changed. He then started
answering the questions seriously. His greatest asset is his
sense of humor and getting along well with others. He was so
interactive with his environment. He was constantly aware of
being actively involved in conversing with others.
His faith was extremely important. He stated that prior to the
illness he was about fifty percent involved in religion. After
the incident, he became one hundred and twenty percent involved
in religion. He felt his religious conviction was being actively
involved in others lives. He also felt his religion assisted in
his improvement of health. Of course he could not prove that God
made the difference but he was sure that He did.
Mario found it easier to forgive others than himself. His
parents were the most significant people in his life. His
brother was his closest confidant. He would talk to others about
what he needed. He also appreciated the fact that others were
there for him when he got sick.
He wanted to show his appreciation through giving money to
others. His standard of receiving appreciation was just being
there for him. Money was not significant.
The nursing approach for this patient is simple. He needed
emotional support. The nursing intervention that would be the
most productive is listening. The rationale for choosing this
intervention is his need to feel that someone was with him.
Being with Mario did not necessarily mean physically being in
his presence but emotionally being available. He needed someone
to hear what he had to say.
His life threatening illness was not in the acute phase. He had
obviously dealt with this ordeal. In the more acute phase touch
can be vital and should be part of the care for this patient.
Mario is very verbal but also very animated. Touching is a
normal part of his life and is done often.
It is not money that was valuable but time and attention. He
needed to feel care. I do not think that talking would help him
feel better. He needed to feel someone was with him.
From every new encounter, I learn new things all the time. I
always thought that people would not be honest or discuss their
feelings with a stranger. I learned otherwise. I was not giving
him nursing care. I was not providing a service for his health.
Mario still wanted someone to listen. He was still evaluating
this event.
I did not have to be a nurse to elicit truthful, important, and
relevant material from this individual. All I had to do was ask
the question. My job was just to listen. I enjoyed listening to
Mario and to his life experiences. Mario made my job easier
through his willingness to be open and honest with me.
The next day when I reported to jury duty again several people
came to ask me if I wanted to hear their story. I have always
done my job but never looked outside my job to see so many
opportunities to be helpful.
I also only thought that a life-threatening illness or chronic
illness created the realization for spiritual analysis. This is
also untrue. People who watch others go through critical
situations can be provoked to think about their spiritual goals.
A woman in the group described an event in which her parents
were in critical condition due to an automobile accident. Her
faith and spiritual condition was brought to the surface. She
reevaluated her life and choices. She sought spiritual guidance
for this horrible accident that her parents had just endured.
She wanted to talk about this event. It was earth shattering to
her. It made her more aware of those around her, goals she had
set for her life, and precious and dear moments, which should
always be cherished.
I never saw Mario again after the first day but his eyes are
forever burned in my soul. He looked at me as if I had been
there. He saw me as being with him. Of course, these words were
never exchanged but he looked at me longingly and seemed to
still desire peace of mind. He was sent away and I remained in
the room.
I never said anything about myself. I never preformed a service
for him. I did not even say the right thing. I asked the
questions and formed a bond by just listening.
In the Bible, I always understood Martha who performed helpful
tasks in preparation of coming events and normal household
duties. I could always identify with her. I am a doer. I have
more value when I do things well. This experience gave me the
opportunity to be Mary. I felt blessed to understand the
importance of being there and just listening.
In conclusion, Mario was aware of his spirituality after a
life-threatening illness. He still required emotional support.
His intervention included listening. He was a very open and
honest man. Although this assignment was to make us more aware
of others spirituality, I learned a very valuable lesson. I pray
that I never forget to be Mary when the time arises. |
