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I have never considered myself patient
until very recently. I had been a nurse for twenty-two years.
The last ten years of my career were spent as an ER/Trauma
Nurse. I could not wait for anything. You may think this career
entitled me to be quick and that patience is not really
important for this particular line of work. When I was in a
stressful situation, I often replied that “patience is a virtue
and I don’t feel virtuous.” Everyone would always laugh.
However, God showed me patience the only
way I would listen. I had open heart surgery for an aortic valve
replacement with a thoracic aneurysm repair. I was in the
hospital for two and a half days. I did not even stay the
minimum amount of time which was seventy-two hours after
surgery. I was not learning patience especially for myself. I
was back to work within five weeks. Within the first six months
after surgery, I had a heart attack. I still did not have the
patience to take care of myself. I took off two days for the
heart attack.
My work defined me. It was my identity. Of
course, I was a wife, mother and nurse but my nursing job was
the only service that I could do for God. I worked hard to
glorify and magnify God in my profession. I did this job for God
or so I thought. I continued to work for six years after the
surgery and the heart attack and then I began having stroke like
symptoms. I then began losing control over one side of my body.
The neurologist found a few spots on my brain. This should have
made me stop and reflect but I needed a few more pressures
before I would stop.
Within a few months after seeing the
neurologist, my kidneys started causing problems. I was bleeding
because of the blood thinner I was taking and I could not seem
to control the problem. I became very ill. I finally went to the
Emergency Room for the problem but because I wanted something to
stop the bleeding and they would not help me the way I wanted
help, I left. I was mad and frustrated. Of course, they called
me for days after I left. My labs were extremely critical and
they were afraid for my well-being but I did not have the
patience for them even though I knew I was very sick.
After a week, I finally felt better but I
still had another issue to face. My female organ began
causing trouble. This lasted for months, so I finally quit work.
I no longer could do my job. My body was just shutting down. I
had become anemic. The final insult to my body was when I
passed out in my bathroom.
I then stopped to listen to God. He had
been trying to talk to me all along but I just was not patient
enough to listen. I thought my only true gift to God was my
nursing. My physical aliment tested my faith. Through this
testing, God produced patience. I have learned that my true gift
to God is my heart, mind, body, and soul seeking His face
everyday in everything. I have learned patience and along with
patience an unquenchable hunger and thirst for God and His
righteousness.
My verse of joy is James 1:2-4(NKJV)
“my
brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But
let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and
complete, lacking nothing.”
God has given me a new ministry. I have
developed this website in which I encourage others to know God on
an intimate and personal level. God is awesome and wonderful and
I am grateful for His wonderful lesson on patience but more
importantly I am grateful that I now truly know God. |
